DALI LAMA DEVOURS RICHARD GERE
Religious Figure Consumes Celebrity Supporter

Los Angeles -- In just a few wild minutes the Dali Lama, one of the most respected and revered religious figures in the world, thrust himself into the world spotlight when he devoured longtime-supporter, actor Richard Gere, at a fundraising luncheon early yesterday morning.

Stunned eyewitnesses recounted a horrifying scene where the Dali Lama grew to almost 30 feet in height, turned to Mr. Gere who had been seated on his right, and quickly chewed him up "Like a drumstick."

"He seemed to start chanting, and then he just grew real big, real fast," said eyewitness Harrison Carter. "Mr. Gere just kind of looked stunned and stumbled back a bit, and then the Dali Lama grabbed him and stuffed him in his mouth," Mr. Carter continued.

After swallowing the actor, the Dali Lama returned to his normal size and the luncheon continued without incident. Authorities have said their investigation into the incident is on-going. .